My lesson in life up to today:

Sometimes, you can’t control what happens around you.

You tend to blame others for their actions but it actually was you who directed fate, with your own actions and reactions to issues in your life.

You hate the way people act around you when you’re the one allowing them to go ahead and betray, contradict, and deceive, and control you!

Why is it that sometimes you turn a blind eye to certain matters, like longing for things to be the way they used to be, whether it was a friendship that was amazing and faded away due to lack of trust, or a relationship that crumbled away, or even your childhood and innocent days, when not a thing in the world mattered except your happiness?
Are you scared of facing reality?

Are you scared of facing the fact that, yes, you are wrong sometimes…?
YES you made mistakes, and yes, you did this to yourself, you chose the fucking path…

You can’t change peoples decisions, even if you know its wrong, they’ll just think your pessimistic, bitter, and jealous.. sadly this is our community today.

Today, friends and family are walking away, taking their own paths in life, they will lie and they will tell you the truth when it is needed, it definitely is not your choice to control their actions, its only fate, destiny’s decision…

Therefore… this is my bitter and sweet realizations to this day… More to come later…

First of all must go
Your scent upon my pillow
And then I'll say goodbye to your whispers in my dreams.
And then our lips will part
In my mind and in my heart,
Cos your kiss Went deeper than my skin.

Piece by piece is how I'll let go of you
Kiss by kiss
Will leave my mind one at a time
One at a time
First of all must fly,
My dreams of you and I,

There's no point of holding on to those
And then our ties will break,
For your and my own sake,
Just remember,
This is what you chose

Piece by piece
Is how I'll let go of you
Kiss by kiss, will leave my mind one at a time
One at a time I'll shed like skin,

Our memories of lazy days,
And fade away the shadow of your face
Piece by piece Is how I'll let go of you
Kiss by kiss,
Will leave my mind one at a time

One at a time
One at a time
One at a time..............

Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape ~Feat Akon~

Well, this song is totallllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyy .. relevant to the post in the bottom!!

*skips around* now which one will i chooseeeeeeeeeee...? Then ditch...?

Good day!

today on my way home, from the amazing za7ma that dubai has compiled over the past 10 years (or more) i was listening to this song - (posted below) ...........

Totally related to it... totally got into the song --- (felt like a loser with all the indians and weirdoz' staring in to my car) suddenly it hit me that every freakin month i need to hear this song.

It will never leave me alone, no matter what i do... it comes back to me? This and another song that won't stop leaving me alone is No Doubt's song - Dont Speak... that's the ultimate...

I also heard (as you might notice i spend a lotta time in my car) confessions - Usher, and realized that i NEED to confess all my sins of 2006 to officially move on... and i will:

1. I ditched a lot of ppl that didn't deserve it without any proof... ( but i still have some doubts) and to fix it ... i made up and stayed formal with them... sorry cuz cuz ... i had to.. I STILL FEEL IM RIGHT

2. I was extremely selfish in my decisions whether it was my career, travelling, money, personal life, social life, everything.. it felt good for a while untill everyone else noticed.. (ouch)

3. I strung along a lot of good guys that didn't deserve it (maybe) .. sorry C.R.E.A.M , i know you were serious about me there was something fishy about your disappearing acts, sorry K.Z. i know u loved me from day 4 (that was really freaky) , and sorry A. i almost died trying to sit an hour with you...

4. I acted without thinking in a lot of matters, shouldn't have played the disappearing act on YOU, and made my mafia also boycott your clique, especially when it is a matter that meant the most to me, excluding YOU out of my life was the biggest mistake, and now i realized just being around you was enough... well maybe not enough, but enough for now....

hmmmmmmmm... can't think of anymore confessions..

Will update you as soon as i remember....

Breakdown - Mariah Carey

Officially - ThIS Is my Mo0oD
One of my favourite songs of all times - exactly exactly what i feel and think...

No Doubt - Exgirlfriend

aaaaaaaaaaaakh ...
(Trying to open up my eyes - yes, still hung over)


I welcome this year with open arms , and wide claws to make sure i filter out whatever is not needed! As 2007 comes rolling in i'm sure you all must have partied your lives out?
Well i SURE DID....

Anyhow people do say i'm selfish, i guess that's one resolution down the drain.... The only one i maintained since the year has begun is probably 'Experimenting' .... as much as i can.

I went to bahrain for New years celebrations and eid too... (something that was over taken by the whole new year concept) .. The Bob Sinclair party kinda sucked ... other than that ...new years eve was definitely EVIL ....

Over Drank

Over Partied

Over Smoked

Over - fucked around (I must admit bahrain is definitely a sausage festival 3ala goo0lat So0so0)

Again i'm sure this post must have made no sense to you all, but i'm still in the festive - vacation mode just waiting for the work-mode to hit me ... which wont be for a few more days! *cringe*

A qoute that i will never let go of:

"I'm about to give you away .... for someone else to take ..."